Curing Writer's Block: Icha Icha Excerpts
by Kanemoshi
Summary: In an attempt to cure a bad case of writer's block by picking names at random, Jiraiya writes stories about them that are worthy of the infamous Icha Icha title. For his first pairing, Iruka and Kakashi find themselves at the mercy of the famous pervert!


Authoress: I'm back with a whole new story! Yosh! This story is written for Fifi-Hatake-san, the legendary 200th reviewer to The Most Youthful Challenge!! Now, for those of you who haven't read one of my fics before, I have a reward to those who give me reviews – as a 100th, 200th, etc. reviewer or someone who writes a comment that inspires me, I will do my best to write a chapter or story to your liking!! If that's not a reason to leave me a lil' comment, I don't know what is!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…as for the story…kukuku…that'd be my perverse mind at work, inspired by the lovely Fifi-Hatake-san!!

******

Feeling a headache coming on, Jiraiya leaned back on his heels, closing his eyes as he set his pad of paper and pen down on his lap. Though the lovely ladies on the other side of the fence were something right out of his last novel, Icha Icha Oasis, perhaps because they were his inspiration for the story, they were not enough to get him out of his funk.

It had been nearly two weeks since he had put a new word down on paper that wasn't almost immediately scratched out with a heavy hand. No matter what he wrote, it did not seem worthy of his legendary name, let alone his notorious Icha Icha title and the reputation he had to uphold as the dirtiest writer to live.

Already, his editor was hounding him for the next installment of the romance series, which they had already started making explicit covers to, bright red characters labeling the so-far unwritten novel as Icha Icha Mountain. Perhaps it had been a bad idea to make Tsunade his editor – and an even worse plan to lie to her, saying he was on the last few chapters when she had tracked him down yesterday.

He couldn't help lying to the busty woman - faced with her massive chest and frightening strength, he panicked and told her whatever he could think of to make her leave him alone. Now, he just had to think of a way to tell the woman, who had already put a fortune down for the publication of his next novel, that that he had nothing other than balls of ink-stained papers covering his apartment floor, his desks, and chairs. It had gotten so bad, he dare not even enter his bathroom, afraid of the avalanche of papers that would attack him the moment he opened the door.

Not even his student could help him. As beautiful as the blonde was when he performed a Sexy no Jutsu, it was not inspiring Jiraiya enough to think of a new, edgy plot that wouldn't put him in the same grouping as other authors whose predictable books all were the same with slight changes to characters' names and places.

Perhaps this was a way of his mind telling him it was time to retire the pen.

Jiraiya froze at the thought, incapable of thinking of a future without his writing. Fueled by a new urge to prove himself wrong – that, despite his age, he was still the best porn novelist to exist - something clicked in the man's mind and he found himself staring at his pad of paper with interest.

Leaping up, making sure to be silent so he would not have to run for his life from a mob of half-naked women, Jiraiya started furiously scribbling every name he could think of as he walked back to his apartment, more than likely running over a few small children in his enthusiasm of finding a way to end his writer's block.

As soon as he reached his apartment, the pervert locked the door behind himself and made sure the deadbolt was in place on the off-chance Tsunade thought to look for him at home. Freezing for a moment at the absurd thought a little bit of metal could stop the Hokage if she knew he was home, Jiraiya left the lock in place. Hopefully it would be enough to stop Naruto if the boy thought to stop by, since it surely wouldn't keep Tsunade from breaking down the door.

Glancing around the apartment that was littered with crumpled balls of paper that, at most, contained three or four characters which were hastily scribbled out, Jiraiya let out a sigh and momentarily leaned backwards against his door. Wading his way through the papers, he made his way to his kitchen.

On his way to the small table, the Sannin pulled a carton of milk out of his fridge and had to rifle through his cabinets to find a glass that did not have a questionable discoloration to it. Usually Tsunade or Naruto felt sorry enough for him to come over and do his dishes when he was in a writing mood, but they apparently had forgotten this time that the white-haired man was quite out of it when he was doing his research for a new novel.

Quickly grabbing the two largest bowls that were not coated in shriveled chips of what Jiraiya could only assume was once food, the novelist sat at his table and started tearing the pages out of his notebook, shredding them to small bits, but making sure to not tear through the characters sloppily written across them.

Sorting the papers into the two bowls before him, Jiraiya made quick work of the notebook he had filled with characters in a matter of minutes. As soon as the last page was torn to bits, he sat back and poured himself a glass of milk. Seeing that the white substance was no longer a liquid, but a chunky mixture that had a very pungent odor coming from it, Jiraiya quickly thanked Tsunade for making him adopt the habit of drinking out of a cup and not straight from the carton. Naruto told him drinking sour milk had horrible effects on the digestion system. For some reason, he had the feeling the boy spoke from first-hand experience.

Leaving the glass of milk that was far past its expiration date on the corner of the table, Jiraiya sifted through his robes, finally coming up with a new notebook filled with blank pages.

Opening up the pad of paper, Jiraiya then went to work checking his pens. He refused to be stopped in the middle of his creative writing process because his pen died. Lining them up around the small notebook, Jiraiya took a deep breath before he threw his hand into the bowl to his left, picking out two folded strips of paper. From the bowl to the right, he sifted around before picking out a promising bit of paper.

Leaning back in his seat as he closed his eyes, the novelist opened up all three strips of paper and lined them up on his notebook. Cracking open up an eye, he found his eyebrow raising as he looked at the several characters spread over three pieces of paper staring back at him.

_Umino Iruka…Hatake Kakashi…Missions Office…_ There were stranger combinations Jiraiya had come up with in his years of writing, but to put the frighteningly bipolar man with the jounin who was as emotional as a rock (and in Jiraiya's mind just as intelligent at times), would be a challenge. Now, how could he work in the Missions Office?

Almost as soon as he pictured the two men in his mind, Jiraiya found a mental light bulb not simply going off, but blowing a fuse as an ingenious thought came to mind. Cackling in a way that would make anyone nervous to be in his presence, the Sannin started furiously writing, his writer's block disappearing as he filled page upon page of his best Yaoi work to date.

--

Kakashi leaned back against the doorway, wondering why he had agreed to the stupid dare his friends had thought up for him. He should have known better than to go along with the _seemingly _harmless game of Truth or Dare.

Weren't they too old to be playing such juvenile games? Then again, a jounin's version of Truth or Dare was not the "eat this or tell us who you have a crush on" version children played. No, his so-called friends said he had to tell them the truth about what was under the mask by showing them or take a dare that they would think of for him.

He probably should have asked for the dare before he made his choice, which no one in their odd gang would let him change once he mumbled "dare" as he pulled his mask up higher in attempts to cover more of his face. Like hell he would willingly show his friends what he had hidden underneath the mask for so long. It had taken a damn long time for people to forget what he looked like without the mask on and he was not about to go back to the heart-filled eyes of the female half of the village and a frighteningly large portion of the male half as well. But faced with the other option, the idea of having a fan club was starting to look better and better by the moment.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself off the doorframe and meandered into the crowded room. People gave him a wide berth when they recognized him as the Copy Cat Nin, which he was usually thankful for, but right now, he wished they would somehow hide him from the leering eyes of his friends.

The conniving idiots had strategically placed themselves so they would have the best line of vision to make sure he completed his dare. Taking a moment to flip off Asuma, who was cackling so hard, Kakashi was sure that, if he kept watching, he would see the man swallow his own cigarette.

A part of the jounin felt a little bit of sweet revenge when, almost as soon as he looked away from his friend, he heard the man choke before letting out a stream of curses that even had Kakashi's ears turning colors. If only he had watched the man for a few more seconds.

Asuma's cursing roused the attention of the entire room, which gave Kakashi the perfect opportunity to sneak his way up to the front of the crowded area. Eyeing his prey with his one visible eye, Kakashi weighed out his options. Use the moment of confusion and chance the possibility his friends were too occupied to see that he completed his task, thus forcing him to do something even worse in the future, or wait until the room was back in order?

"Asuma! Don't tell me you swallowed your cigarette again!" Kakashi raised his eyebrow at the "again" part of the brunet's comment. From the sigh of aggravation and lack of concern, Kakashi guessed it was a common enough occurrence that no one was too worried for his friend's life. "I refuse to give you the Heimlich this time!"

At this statement, Kakashi wondered how a man so small could possibly have enough force in that frame of his to all but lift the giant of a man up and force a cigarette back up his esophagus. Then again, he had been on the receiving end of one of the chuunin's angered fits more than once. Last time the man had caught him with a balled up report, Kakashi had a lump on his head for days!

"Is there something you wanted, Hatake-san?" the man asked, his voice revealing his exhaustion as he leaned back in his seat, counting down the seconds before he felt enough pity for the choking jounin to go help. It was almost impossible to ignore the hacking and wheezing coming out of Asuma, but for a moment, he forgot about the chain-smoking jounin in favor of giving the Copy Cat Nin one of his trademark "suspicious teacher" looks. There was something in the jounin's visible eye that told Iruka he was up to something.

"Maa…Iruka-sensei…" Kakashi always had that tone whenever he came into the Missions Office with one of his tall tales about why his report was missing, unwritten, or it was in no condition for Iruka to accept. Last time, Kakashi explained the wet papers by saying that he was on his way to pick the chuunin a water lily, but as he was walking across the placid lake, a fish came up and ate the papers, so Kakashi had to fight the monstrous creature to get the pages back and, if Kakashi's story was to be believed, he nearly lost his hand to the gigantic animal in attempts of retrieving the papers.

As of right now, Iruka was in no mood to hear how Kakashi had to battle some mythical creature or another for his mission report, how he had lost it in a game against some noble in attempts so save some damsel in distress, or whatever idiotic excuse Kakashi would try this time. He had gotten up on the wrong side of his couch, having given his bed up to Naruto for the night. His guestroom, also known as Naruto's second bedroom when the boy occasionally slept over, was in the process of being redone. Iruka's eyes had bled too many times from the neon orange walls, which finally gave him reason to repaint the walls a nice, light shade of grey, despite all of the boy's protests.

Glancing back at Kakashi, waiting for the man to respond, Iruka raised an eyebrow when he realized the jounin's hair was the exact same color of his guestroom. Feeling his temper rising, both due to his horrible night of sleep and that a pathological liar with hair matching his guest room was standing before him, Iruka could only angrily wonder what kind of person had hair the same shade as paint chips! Now he would have to go home and repaint the entire room, preferably to a color that was not currently sported by anyone he knew.

Inwardly chuckling at the thought of what the poor cashier at the hardware store would do if he was to demand a paint that was not anyone's hair color – probably thinking Iruka was far beyond insane – he pushed away his momentary anger and looked at Kakashi curiously. The jounin, for once, had not started rambling on with one of his ridiculous explanations, which made Iruka immediately wonder what he was up to this time.

Trying to recall what mission the jounin had been sent on most recently, Iruka came up with a blank. Last he knew, Kakashi was on vacation – if being the reluctant leader of his hyper team could be called vacation. The man was on no active missions worthy of his jounin status – he was wandering around with his newly-made chuunin team as they performed mundane tasks or trained. Perhaps having to deal with Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke all at the same time was karma's way at getting back at Kakashi for all the lies and headaches he gave the brunet.

"Anou sa, Iruka-sensei…" Kakashi started off while mentally damning his friends for putting him in this position. He did not enjoy being put in the spotlight, much less being forced into doing so by his so-called friends. Taking a deep breath, he raised his gaze so he could look at the chuunin and not the man's fingers tapping impatiently against the desk.

Reminding himself that he would rather die than have Gai call him "the picture of youth and beauty" or some other idiotic statement when he pulled his mask off, the jounin strengthened his resolve and, if for a moment, wondered when he had reached the same level of insanity as his friends that he was even considering this.

Though no one could see it, Kakashi bit his lip as he calculated how much the punishment for his actions was going to hurt when Iruka got a hold of him. If he spent a tenth of a second on his dare, he would have a good third of a nanosecond to transport himself, since he had the feeling he wouldn't be able to run fast enough to save his life. In that fraction of a nanosecond, the time he figured it would take for Iruka to realize what he was doing, the jounin could be halfway across the village, using Naruto as a human shield. Iruka wouldn't harm his favorite blonde, right?

Taking a deep breath as he quickly sent out a tendril of chakra to locate his new protector, Kakashi winced, only able to imagine what the chuunin would do to him if Iruka caught him before he had a secure hold on Naruto. Perhaps if he promised a year's worth of ramen, Naruto would happily go along with his plan…

Wishing he had the sense to ignore his friends when they said they just wanted to play a little, innocent game, Kakashi placed his hands on the edge of the desk as he leaned forwards. Before his conscience, and logic, had a chance to kick in, the jounin pushed off the harmless bit of furniture and leapt over the desk.

Iruka had only begun registering that Kakashi was getting a little too close for comfort and pushed his chair back from the desk when he caught the jounin's quick movement. Before he had a chance to realize what Kakashi was doing, he found the jounin comfortably sitting on his lap. As Iruka blinked in surprise, he heard the customary loudness of the Mission Office abruptly stop in favor of gaping at the two shinobi blankly staring at each other.

What few brain cells the chuunin had after years of teaching at the academy were fried as he found himself dumbly looking down at the Copy Cat Nin's position. He had enough sense left to realize Kakashi was not simply sitting on his lap – which, with the jounin, would not have surprised him if Kakashi had a particularly far-fetched story to tell him – but Kakashi was, without a doubt, _straddling_ him.

_I'm going to die…_was the only thing Kakashi could think of as he found himself staring down into Iruka's widening eyes, noticing the brightening color across the man's cheeks. A part of the jounin – more likely the suicidal side he didn't know he had until this point – was somehow keeping him from performing the necessary jutsu to get as far from the chuunin as possible before Iruka regained the ability to move.

That same side of him, against all logic and sense of self-preservation, was curious to see how much he could get the poor chuunin to blush before Iruka bodily harmed him. With a small prayer that he would survive to see tomorrow, Kakashi shifted his weight on the chuunin's lap, pressing his hips down on the chuunin's groin.

That evil little part of the jounin did a dance of sheer glee when he saw that, even as tan as he was, Iruka's blush was the most impressive color he had ever seen on someone. He had the feeling on any paler being, it would have made their face resemble a tomato. On Iruka, however, it was oddly cute.

Kakashi relaxed slightly on the chuunin's lap, forgetting for a moment that the adorably blushing man underneath him was the same person who struck fear into the heart of every jounin in the village. Almost as soon as he shifted his weight yet again, Kakashi was instantly reminded of that small fact when he saw those normally gentle eyes narrow, spelling out certain death for one jounin.

"Heh…Iruka-sensei…" Kakashi panicked when he saw that murderous gaze, knowing Iruka had to be thinking of at least fifty different ways of dismembering him, then killing him with his own manhood, and getting rid of the body. Then again, no one in the village would question Iruka about Kakashi's whereabouts…they would be too afraid they would be next if they annoyed the quick-tempered man.

When he didn't hear Iruka immediately screech at him in that ear-shattering pitch of his, Kakashi's ears perked up and he found himself catching the most surprising sound. He could pass it up to his momentary split with sanity, but he swore that he heard Iruka panting.

_Maybe if I distract him for a moment_…Kakashi quickly planned out his escape route. Shifting his hips so that he could press his entire weight down on the shorter man's lap, Kakashi smirked beneath his mask when he discovered his hearing had not lied.

If the distinct hardness he felt between the chuunin's legs was not enough of a reason for panting, the jounin would admit Gai looked good in spandex.

Kakashi started rethinking his plan when he heard a new sound come from the chuunin; this time, it was a barely muffled whimper. It was soft enough, Kakashi was sure he was the only person who heard it, but that did not stop the jounin from slowly starting to pull away, raising his hands to perform the fastest transportation jutsu of his life. Once Iruka was done being properly mortified, the bipolar teacher was going to be coming for blood.

He, regretfully, never got the chance to flee. Kakashi felt his life flash before his one natural eye as the chuunin, with a speed part of the jounin was vastly impressed by, reached out and grabbed the front of his shirt, yanking Kakashi back down on the chuunin's lap with such force, Kakashi momentarily saw stars.

For a second, Kakashi was sure the chuunin was planning on strangling him with his own uniform, but that idea was quickly replaced by mind-blowing confusion when he felt the chuunin lift his hips, returning that gentle pressure.

As he shifted in his seat, Iruka plastered on a smile and turned away from the jounin in his clutches long enough to look around the Mission Office, still crowded by wide-eyed shinobi. Tilting his head to the side with feigned innocence, Iruka finally spoke, "I'm sorry, the Mission Office will be closing now. Please leave in an orderly fashion…"

The stampede of shinobi barely heard the first of his words as they raced for the room's sole exit, trampling several of their slower companions in attempts to escape. A few "rest in peace, Hatake-san" and "it was a pleasure knowing you" reached the jounin's ears and Kakashi could only cry over the fact even his best friends deserted him in the face danger. Then again, how bad could Iruka, the kind, compassionate pre-gennin teacher be?

Iruka waited until the last few stragglers – those who were thrown under the feet of their comrades – finally dragged themselves out of the room on whatever limbs they had left before he turned back to the jounin.

"Well, Hatake-san…what is your excuse this time?" he asked calmly as he tightened his grip on Kakashi's shirt, reminding the jounin that there would be no escape for the Copy Cat Nin this time. Kakashi gulped loudly, wishing he had just pulled his mask off for his friends. A lifetime of fangirls and fanboys might have been better than certain death at the brunet's hands.

"Maa…as I was getting you a box of chocolates, this princess took me prisoner, locking me in the highest tower of her castle, and I had to use my report to make a pair of wings so I could fly back here. On my way, however, the paper burned because I was too close to the sun and I dropped the chocolates…" Kakashi lied, his voice wavering as he saw the disbelief in Iruka's eyes. He shouldn't have been surprised; Iruka never believed his stories. This time, however, he knew Iruka wouldn't simply slap him in the head or beat him with a mission report.

"You weren't hurt in the fall?" Iruka asked, playing along with the jounin for no other reason than he could see Kakashi sweating. Iruka could not help but be slightly amused that the Copy Cat Nin looked like he would have been willing to give up every secret he knew if it saved him from his fate. Shinobi weren't supposed to break under pressure, but even Ibiki feared being on the chuunin's bad side.

"N-no…a cloud…" _Cloud?!_ Kakashi felt his sanity slipping under Iruka's interrogation, but he knew he couldn't take back his answer now. "A cloud I landed on turned out to be a beautiful wind spirit, who flew me the rest of the way here…"

"That was very nice of her," Iruka replied nonchalantly as he leaned back in his chair, shifting his weight ever so slightly so that he could press his growing erection into Kakashi's behind. The jounin jumped at his movement, but was easily held down by the teacher's firm grip.

Iruka had to bite back a chuckle at Kakashi's nervousness. Had he not seen the jounin's wide eye, he would have assumed all of this was some part of Kakashi's plan. What shinobi in the village didn't know he preferred someone else to make the first move? And what a move Kakashi made! His preference to bold lovers was common knowledge, but he was starting to wonder if it was as widespread as he thought it was. The jounin's expression clearly told him that Kakashi had not been expecting _this_ when he jumped into his lap and started giving him a torturously slow lap dance.

"C-can I go now?" Kakashi asked quietly, praying that Iruka would show him mercy and kill him quickly. It wasn't as though he minded the hardness pressing into his lower body; it was actually turning him on. Kakashi was mildly surprised at that realization only because he was certain he was going to die by the chuunin's hands. Then again, it was no shock he would like feeling that hardness against him – he was probably one of the few shinobi in the village who thought Iruka was hot in his own way…not that he ever worked up the courage – or level of insanity – needed to tell the chuunin so.

In response to Kakashi's question, Iruka brought one hand around the jounin while still keeping his firm grip on the jounin's shirt. Letting his fingers slide down Kakashi's back until they rested possessively on the man's perfectly sculpted rear, Iruka chuckled but shook his head.

Kakashi couldn't bite back the eep that escaped his lips when he felt the chuunin possessively gripping his behind. From Iruka's touch, a delicious shiver ran up the jounin's spine and he felt his body leaning into that strong hand.

Mentally berating himself for considering doing this in the first place, Kakashi tried to ignore the growing warmth in his lower body as the chuunin moved his other hand from Kakashi's chest so he could grip a narrow hip. All thoughts of escaping in that brief window of opportunity flew from his mind when he felt Iruka start to grind their hips together.

Involuntarily returning the pressure, Kakashi lost what little sanity he had left as he started wondering what the brunet would do if he kissed him. No longer able to see why he shouldn't satisfy his curiosity – since he was certain Iruka was going to kill him anyways – Kakashi leaned forwards as he hooked a finger over the edge of his mask.

Iruka could only raise an eyebrow as he watched the jounin start to pull his mask down, revealing a face that had the chuunin mentally drooling. He would never admit it to the jounin, but this had to be the first time he thought to describe Kakashi as sinfully handsome. Before he got a chance to better study that gloriously magnificent face, Kakashi bowed his head and captured his gaping mouth in a passionate kiss.

Quickly getting over his surprise, Iruka returned the pressure, finding the feeling of the jounin's unshaven skin strangely addictive as he brought his hands up to cup the man's cheeks. He let Kakashi trace his mouth with an expert tongue, waiting for the perfect moment to turn the tables and show his dominance.

Kakashi let out a soft moan which was swallowed by the chuunin he straddled as Iruka gently sucked on his lower lip, trailing his tongue along his skin so softly, the jounin had to wonder if he was touching him at all. Unconsciously moving closer to the man beneath him, Kakashi made quick work of the tie holding Iruka's hair up.

As the chuunin's hair fell down to his shoulders, Kakashi wound his fingers between the incredibly soft strands and tightened his grip just enough to force Iruka to tip his head back. Crushing his lips against the tan teacher's, Kakashi found himself willingly giving up dominance under the chuunin's masterful kissing, preferring to taste the man, finding his distinct flavor as addictive as his novels. Hell, Kakashi would gladly give up the Icha Icha series if it meant he could kiss the chuunin like this again.

That thought froze Kakashi for the barest of moments as the jounin wondered what his feelings for the smaller man were. He had a number of lovers, and a few he had even cared for, over the years, but this was the first time he had not thought about what could happen if he pursued a relationship before making a move. For the first time in his life, he wasn't thinking logically – he was _feeling_.

The jounin did not have to think very long about what he felt towards Iruka. Though he had never really put words to his feelings for the chuunin, he had been obnoxiously flirting with the man since they first met several years ago. It was about time all of his hard work and ridiculous lies paid off! He could only wonder what Iruka's feelings for him were, but at the moment, he didn't mind if the chuunin was being driven by lust. He knew it took a long time to get used to his unique personality and much longer get to know him enough to like him, but for the man beneath him, he was more than willing to wait an eternity.

"Kakashi…" Hearing his name roll off that tongue, the sound almost completely muffled by his own mouth, Kakashi felt his heart skip a beat. He had never heard Iruka call him by just his first name, let alone without an honorific or some kind of accompanying threat. The tone of Iruka's voice only served to arouse him further – no one had ever said his name with such need before.

In response, the jounin resumed their earlier movements, grinding his hips against the chuunin's, evoking a soft moan from the brunet. As he continued pressing himself against the chuunin, Kakashi released the man's dark hair in favor of undoing the buttons of his jacket. Pushing the padded vest off of the teacher's broad shoulders, Kakashi was rewarded with a soft growl.

Before he even had the chance to throw the vest to the ground, Kakashi found his own vest being torn off with impressive force. Hearing the clothing rip as Iruka flung the jacket in no particular direction, Kakashi was thankful he had the sense to have several spares back at his apartment.

Not even given a moment to protest the tearing of his clothes, Kakashi could only stare in amazement as the chuunin disarmed him in the blink of an eye. The jounin only stared at the smaller man in amazement as he heard his hitai-ate, gloves, and his kunai pouch land on the floor near his jacket.

Once he regained the ability of intelligent thought, Kakashi saw the unfairness of their differing modes of dress. In retaliation for disarming him and destroying his jacket, Kakashi slipped a kunai out of the chuunin's own pouch and, with care he did not even know he possessed, slid the blade down the man's torso. He was rewarded with the sound of material ripping as he moved and, as soon as he cut through the hem by the chuunin's hips, Kakashi sat back and started pushing the torn shirt off of the man's frame.

As he revealed an expanse of tanned skin, Kakashi was glad to see there were no scratches from the kunai he wielded. Instead, all he was able to see was the rapid rise and fall of the chuunin's chest as Iruka sat up straight so Kakashi could pull the shirt off completely, revealing a well-sculpted body that the jounin could not help but be jealous of.

Almost as soon as the material was peeled away from his arms, Iruka brought a hand up to touch the flat abdomen mere hairs away from his own. Sliding his hand beneath the material, Iruka worked his way up the man's impressively muscular body until he reached the jounin's shoulders.

Unable to do anything else, Kakashi lifted his arms up and let the chuunin strip him of his shirt and the mask attached to it. Smirking as soon as the dark article of clothing was thrown carelessly to the floor, Kakashi looked down at the man beneath him. He never thought that, beneath his shinobi uniform, Iruka possessed a sinfully perfect body.

Fascinated with the man's body, Kakashi trailed his fingers along the chuunin's defined frame, watching as muscles rippled beneath his touch. In response to Kakashi's curious observing, Iruka brought his hands up to the jounin's impossibly pale skin, touching him as gently as Kakashi was caressing him. Seeing the man's body break out in goose bumps and catching the almost unperceivable shiver, Iruka had to bite back a laugh. He never imagined Kakashi would be so sensitive.

Letting his hands trail down to rest on the man's lean hips, Iruka bowed his head and placed a ginger kiss on the jounin's exposed neck right below his jaw. Feeling more than hearing the man's gasp, Iruka smirked. Moving his way along the man's neck as he alternated between licks and gentle nips, Iruka could not help but chuckle proudly when he heard the jounin on his lap whimper.

"Iruka…" Kakashi groaned softly, tilting his head back to give the chuunin better access as he pressed his erection into the chuunin's abdomen. No one had ever before paid so much attention to his neck before and a part of the jounin had to admit that it was beyond arousing to have the chuunin beneath him leaving noticeable marks across his pale flesh. Not that anyone else would ever see them, but Kakashi would know they were there.

In response to the jounin's whisper, Iruka lowered one hand, tracing his way along the jounin's tight pants. Kakashi all but bucked when the chuunin ran a finger over the tip of his erection. Whimpering as the teacher slowly teased him with feather-light touches, Kakashi could do nothing other than bite his lip before his whimpers became outright moans. The man's gentle touches, combined with the even softer kisses along his neck, were almost too much for Kakashi to handle.

"Please, Iruka…" he begged, need ringing clearly in his deep voice. Iruka gave one last lick to the jounin's heavily marked neck before leaning back so he could wrap his hand around the man's noticeable erection. Almost as soon as he felt the brunet's grip him, Kakashi found himself unable to keep his lower body from rocking against the chuunin. At that point, he would have done anything to continue the sensations created by having Iruka's hand on him.

His very body felt like it was on fire as the chuunin touched him, stroking him until Kakashi was sure he would never regain his sanity after this. "Please…" He could not help but plead between moans and attempts to catch his breath. No one had ever been able to make him feel like this before and Kakashi could not help but wonder what he had been missing all these years when he had sex with others.

Sure now that his heart was going to break out of his chest with the force of its pumping, Kakashi could only bow his head, letting his bare forehead rest against the cool metal of Iruka's hitai-ate. He was about to open his mouth and beg again, but lost all conscious thought when he felt Iruka's hand leave him, relocating on the waistband of his pants.

Had Kakashi the ability to do anything, he would have torn off his own pants if it meant Iruka would continue. Instead, he could only whimper as the chuunin slowly slid his pants down. Sitting up slightly so the brunet could pull his tight pants past his hips, Kakashi nearly blacked out when he felt cool air against his now exposed member.

Before Kakashi had the decency to blush at the thought of being all but fully nude in front of Iruka, the chuunin's hand returned to his erection, his thumb toying with his wet tip. Kakashi sat back on Iruka's lap, uncaring that his tight waistband was now cutting into his thighs. Sliding back so he was resting on the chuunin's knees as he spread his knees apart as far as his pants would allow, giving the brunet better access, Kakashi nearly screamed when he felt the man's callused hand grip him tightly.

Iruka felt his own member twitch in anticipation when he heard the strangled noise erupt from the jounin's throat. It was somewhere between a moan and a scream and damned if he wasn't completely turned on by the realization _he_ was the one who got that sound to come from Kakashi. Slowly sliding his hand along the man's erection, Iruka was rewarded with another one of those sounds that sent delicious shivers down his back.

Slowly rocking his hips, matching Iruka's rhythm, Kakashi had to grip the desk behind him so he did not fall off the chuunin's lap. When he heard a groan escape Iruka's lips, Kakashi found himself smirking. Pressing his hips down into the chuunin as he kept up with the teacher's torturously slow pace, Kakashi was rewarded with another sound from Iruka. This time, however, he could easily place it as a curse.

Kakashi didn't even have the time to figure out what exactly Iruka was cursing before the man stood up, easily lifting the jounin in his lap with one arm while he kept his other hand firmly around Kakashi's erection. Before Kakashi realized what Iruka was planning, the chuunin lowered him to the wooden floor, but stood back up for a brief moment to undo his own pants.

One natural eye and the Sharingan widened slightly as Kakashi watched the chuunin's pants fall to the floor, revealing a body that Kakashi could only describe as physical perfection. Eyes grazing down Iruka's muscular form, burning the image of the god-like figure before him to memory, the jounin found his gaze stopping at the man's erection and his mouth dropping slightly.

_What the hell am I supposed to do with __**that**__?!_ Kakashi could only wonder as he stared at the chuunin's member. He had a number of uncommonly large partners, but this was bordering on ridiculous. A part of the jounin's masculinity shriveled up and died as he glanced down at his own erection and saw there was no comparison.

Before Kakashi got the chance to say anything to the tune of asking if Iruka happened to live near a nuclear power plant as a child, the chuunin lowered himself to the floor and pulled Kakashi up into his lap. Any thought of protesting was quickly banished when the jounin felt a hardness press against his entrance.

Having seen the jounin's widened eyes, Iruka did not have to wonder why Kakashi's body tensed up as he shifted, his erection pressing against the jounin's backside. "I won't hurt you," Iruka whispered into the jounin's shoulder as he used what little restraint he had left to keep himself from taking Kakashi then and there.

Recalling that those who never got on Iruka's bad side considered him to be a gentle, kind person, Kakashi couldn't help but believe what the chuunin said. Iruka _was_ actually kind of nice when Kakashi didn't piss him off…but when was Kakashi ever anything but his chronically annoying self? In the past four years of knowing the chuunin, Kakashi had never actually been civil to the teacher, but he had seen how Iruka acted around others, so he knew that Iruka wasn't a malicious person. He was actually the complete opposite so long as no one was aggravating him.

"I know," Kakashi finally said softly as he bowed his head and rested it on the chuunin's broad shoulder. For a moment, he sat there, contently taking in the scent he had always associated to the teacher. A mixture of cleaners, ramen, and a host of other aromas Kakashi knew the brunet was around quite often could not mask the crisp scent he instinctively knew to be particular to the bipolar man.

"If you don't want to do this, Kakashi…we don't-" Iruka never got to finish his statement. Almost as soon as the sound of the brunet's words reached his ears, Kakashi realized his actions would have seemed like uncertainty to the chuunin when, in all actuality, he was just reveling in being this close to the man that he could pick up Iruka's distinctive scent – that he could taste the man's salty skin.

"If you tell me you want to stop, I'll tie you down and force you," Kakashi replied, half jokingly, as he pulled his head away from the chuunin's shoulder. "You started all of this, Iruka…" At this statement, the teacher raised a dark eyebrow, trying to figure out how Kakashi came to that conclusion.

"You jumped on me, you kissed me…how do you think I started this?" Iruka asked curiously as he took the moment to study the jounin on his lap. No longer completely blinded by lust, he felt a pang of something he had not felt in a long time.

When he first met Kakashi, he was sure he would never have had a chance with the Copy Cat Nin, having heard the rumors that Kakashi was not much for relationships, much less long-term ones. Not to mention Kakashi was as emotional as the Hokage Monument and just about as easy to read. When he came to the realization his little crush was an impossible dream, he pushed those feelings to the farthest corner of himself, all but forgetting about those emotions so he would not end up just hurting himself. Instead, he resigned himself to get to know Kakashi as a friend – as violent and begrudging as their friendship was.

In all of their arguing over the years, for all of the headaches Kakashi gave him and all the injuries he gave in return, a part of him had done so – had singled Kakashi out for his attention – because there was something different about the jounin. Iruka could not completely ignore his idiotic feelings for the man, so, whereas with other shinobi, he punished them because they deserved it, Iruka did the same with Kakashi more to get a reaction out of the man than to teach him a lesson. He did so because he wanted to one day be able to read Kakashi and find out if the man was even capable of caring for anyone.

He used to hate to admit it, but now he kind of was eager to hear what kind of story Kakashi concocted when he meandered into the Missions Office. Kakashi's infrequent visits to the office always made the job seem worth it just because it gave Iruka a chance to see the mysterious loner.

"Maa…you asked me if I wanted something…" Kakashi replied as his eyes curved upwards. For the first time since meeting the jounin, Iruka could see that, when his eyes seemed to smile, his mouth did much the same, revealing a row of pearly white teeth.

"You were the one who came into the Missions Office without a report," Iruka countered, almost unable to hide the chuckle that he felt bubbling up at Kakashi's response. The jounin's perfect smile, if anything, deepened at Iruka's comment and he outright laughed at the chuunin's observation.

"And you're the one who can't take a hint," Kakashi responded as he shifted his hips, receiving a soft groan from the chuunin beneath him. "Four years of flirting with you and it takes a stupid dare for you to notice…"

"…huh…?" Iruka was so afraid to even ask what kind of dare Kakashi was put up to if it resulted in this that, for a moment, he ignored the "four years of flirting" so he could stare at Kakashi with wide eyes. He finally worked up the courage to ask Kakashi what on earth he was talking about. "Dare?"

"…to make you blush more than you ever have in under five seconds…" Kakashi mumbled under his breath, his gaze shifting to some point over the chuunin's shoulder. "Straddling you was the only thing I haven't done to you yet to get you to blush…well, the only thing that wouldn't have gotten me arrested…though it probably would have if you hadn't…um…been so receptive…" Kakashi momentarily wished he hadn't taken his mask off; he could feel his cheeks warming as he explained himself and he knew that, unlike the chuunin, when he blushed, his face became splotchy and not at all attractive.

Iruka could only stare at the man dumbly, wondering what kind of person would dare Kakashi to do such a thing, but then he recalled the number of jounin in the Mission Office earlier. He had noticed them simply because all of them seemed to be glancing at him whenever his eyes were elsewhere. He should have known Kakashi's friends would have put him up to such a thing.

"And you didn't expect this?" Iruka finally replied, the light tone of his voice revealing to Kakashi that he was not offended that he had been used in their idiotic game. A small part of the jounin even dared to hope that Iruka returned his feelings. Why else would Iruka have let him straddle him, let alone become so aroused by their position?

"Nope!" Kakashi stated with a shake of his head. "But I'm not complaining," he added as he looked into the chuunin's eyes. "I was starting to run out of pick up lines…"

"…pick up lines? What pick up lines?!" Iruka retorted, his eye twitching slightly as he slowly started realizing that, for all the time he had know Kakashi, the jounin had been flirting with him in his own twisted way. How had he not noticed it before!?

"…picking you flowers…getting you presents…" Kakashi all but pouted as he spoke, dropping his head as he wondered how more obvious he could have been. Well, short of telling Iruka outright, he doubted there was any other way, but he wanted to know how the chuunin felt for him before he opened himself up to the teacher.

Iruka was just about to ask Kakashi when he had ever given him anything, but then started to recall all of Kakashi's stories, every one of them beginning with a line on how he was off getting something for Iruka. Even his last pathetic lie, Kakashi was bringing him a box of chocolates. Chuckling to himself, Iruka had to fight the urge to hit the man. "What kind of stupid flirting is that? I thought you were just trying to annoy me and get my hopes up…"

Kakashi blinked at the last part of Iruka's statement, a part of him starting to realize that those words meant the chuunin had feelings for him as well. The little hopeless romantic in the jounin started to believe that Iruka had been in love with him for the past four years, much like Kakashi was with him. "I didn't mean it like that…" Kakashi said softly as he bowed his head, brushing his lips against Iruka's. "I just wanted to get your attention…" he added softly as he looked into the chuunin's eyes, unsure how to put his feelings – his actions – into words that Iruka could possibly understand.

Seeing something in the jounin's mismatched orbs made Iruka's heart skip a beat as he started to realize what Kakashi was having such a problem saying. The chuunin smiled as he cupped the jounin's bare face in his hands, tilting the tall man's head so he could show him that he understood. Kissing the jounin's parted lips, Iruka slowly began exploring the man's mouth. This time, his actions were not driven by hormones, but by something he had been trying to bury for so many years.

Kakashi could feel the change in Iruka's kisses immediately and he somehow knew what it meant without any words being exchanged. Returning the kiss, he shifted in the chuunin's lap so that he was flush against the teacher, able to feel Iruka's heart pounding against his own chest.

No longer fueled by lust and four years of suppressed emotions, the two shinobi became lost in the moment, of being in one another's arms, enjoying the simple pleasure of unhurriedly kissing. Kakashi was the first to pull away, resting his forehead against Iruka's covered brow, smiling as he took several deep breaths in attempts to return his breathing to normal.

Feeling the chuunin's arms wrap around him, gently embracing him, Kakashi found himself for once liking the closeness. He was never one for cuddling, but he had to admit that he enjoyed being in Iruka's arms. Though he was a jounin and Iruka was just a chuunin, he felt inexplicably safe in those strong arms.

His body erupted in shivers as the chuunin's fingertips started drawing lazy designs across his back. It was not meant as a sensual touch, but as a gentle reminder that Iruka was still there. Leaning into the man's touch, Kakashi felt a renewed need for the brunet.

This need, however, was not stained with desperation or fear of what Iruka truly thought of him. This time, he knew for certain that Iruka's actions were not brought about by lust, but something that made his heart pound as he looked into the chuunin's dark brown eyes.

All but crushing his lips against the chuunin's, Kakashi quickly picked up where they had left off before. Shocks of sinfully delicious shivers ran through him, pooling in his lower body, as the chuunin's gentle touches turned into powerful grabs, revealing that Iruka needed Kakashi just as much as the jounin needed him.

Shifting his weight back on the chuunin's lap, no longer wondering if Iruka was capable of hurting him, Kakashi gently teased the teacher as he gyrated his hips, rubbing against his erection. Without warning, he felt the chuunin shift beneath him, all but throwing Kakashi to the floor while still somehow keeping their bodies firmly pressed together.

Iruka finally released his tight hold on Kakashi as he pulled back, shifting so that he could place feather-light kisses down the jounin's torso. Kakashi whimpered when he felt Iruka stop his descent mere inches from his member, instead deciding to divert his path down one muscular thigh. Once Iruka had finally reached his knee, all the while pulling Kakashi's pants off without any objection from the jounin, he began a similar journey up his other leg, this time discovering Kakashi's inner thighs were just as sensitive as his neck.

Kakashi nearly jumped when he felt that warm, masterful tongue run along the underside of his throbbing member. Letting out a sound that could only be described as a groan, Kakashi threw his head back as he tightened his hands into fists in attempts to find something to grab, but only found hard wood for his nails to grate against as Iruka took him into his mouth.

Unable to do anything other than bite back moans as the chuunin's warm mouth surrounded his aching member, his tongue tracing lines that sent Kakashi's head spinning, the jounin let up no word of protest when he felt something press against his entrance.

Kakashi felt the chuunin's finger push into him at an achingly slow speed and, if possible, was pulled out even slower as Iruka started sucking at a similarly torturous pace. Finally bringing a hand away from the floor, where he was sure he left crescent-shaped marks, Kakashi wove his fingers into the chuunin's hair, guiding that brunet head as Iruka took all of him into that delicious warmth of his mouth, his teeth carefully grazing sensitive skin and his tongue mapping out throbbing veins.

The jounin let out a gasp when Iruka's probing finger brushed against a spot that made every inch of the jounin feel like it was on fire. He could not even form words at that point, but he really did not have to. Iruka must have somehow been able to translate the soft pants and whimpers that came from his lips because he hit that spot over and over, forcing Kakashi to arch his back and spread his lean legs as he wordlessly begged for more.

Feeling a change in Iruka's probing, it took a few moments before Kakashi realized that he had added another finger. The jounin passed up his slow comprehension to the beautiful brunet, his amazing mouth, and equally praise-worthy fingers. Kakashi could not help but whimper when he felt the chuunin slowly stretch him, preparing him as he could, but at that moment, all Kakashi wanted was the chuunin inside of him.

"Iruka…" Kakashi pleaded, looking down at the chuunin between his legs and nearly came at the sight of Iruka all but swallowing him, his hair mussed from where Kakashi had been unconsciously pulling at it. Feeling more than seeing the chuunin's lips turn up in a smile, Kakashi could only pray that meant he would acquiesce. "Please…"

Releasing the amazing suction on Kakashi's member, Iruka gave the jounin's manhood one final lick before he pulled away completely. Hearing the silver-haired shinobi whimper at the loss of his mouth, Iruka quickly replaced it with one hand, his other still slowly preparing the jounin by adding a third finger.

Finally seeing Kakashi wince in discomfort, Iruka took a great deal of time stretching him as he simultaneously stroked the jounin's wet member. Once he was sure the tall man was comfortable, Iruka glanced up at him, searching his handsome face for any hesitation. Finding none, the chuunin shifted his body back, gesturing for Kakashi to flip over.

Without question, Kakashi did so, getting on his hands and knees before the chunin. For a moment, Iruka took the time to admire the view Kakashi was unknowingly giving him, his member twitching in anticipation. Pushing himself up on his own knees, Iruka moved so he was right behind the Copy Cat Nin. A soft gasp escaped his lips as his erection brushed against the jounin's prepared entrance.

Kakashi was given no warning as Iruka began pushing into him, both of his hands going to the jounin's hips to keep him from moving. A part of the jounin mourned the loss of Iruka's hand on his weeping member, but the rest of him quickly forgot about that as he felt the chuunin entering him, stretching him far more than he had ever thought possible.

He could only let out a soft cry as Iruka continued to push into him, using his grip on Kakashi's hips to keep the jounin from pulling away. In all actuality, Iruka was holding him still just so Kakashi didn't move, no matter what direction it was in. He had an impressive amount of willpower, but he knew that even that steely control over himself would fly out the figurative window if Kakashi shifted. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt the jounin, so he kept his tight hold on the man's hips as he finally stilled after what seemed like an eternity for both men, letting Kakashi grow accustomed to his size.

"Iruka…" Kakashi let out a whimper as he felt his body stretched to its very limits. Cracking open an eye, unsure when he had even closed them, Kakashi glanced over one should and found himself staring in amazement at the chuunin behind him, a bead of sweat running down his tan temple and his teeth gritted as he forced himself to remain still. Fighting against the hold Iruka had on his hips, Kakashi pushed his hips back into the brunet's, gasping when he felt the chuunin fill him completely.

Whatever blood that had not gone to his throbbing member rushed to Kakashi's head as that amazing hardness pressed against his prostate, leaving Kakashi dizzy from sheer pleasure. The only thing he could hear other than his own pounding heart and ragged breath was the muffled groan that came out the tan chuunin as Iruka tightened his grip on Kakashi's hips, his fingers digging into pale flesh as he did everything he could to keep from pulling out and ramming back into the jounin.

"Damn it Kakashi…" Iruka mumbled from behind clenched teeth, his entire body shaking with the sheer amount of control it took to keep him from tearing the tall jounin in two. He had underestimated how tight Kakashi would be – how amazing it would feel to be inside him.

Rocking his hips against the jounin's slowly, pulling out a mere fraction of what his body was screaming for him to, Iruka started to feel the man's muscles loosen. It seemed like forever before Iruka was satisfied with how much he had stretched the jounin. Almost as soon as he was certain he was in no danger of harming Kakashi, Iruka felt the little control on himself begin snapping like a well-worn rope holding an immense weight – one small bit at a time.

Feeling a change in Iruka's movements, Kakashi whimpered as the chuunin's thrusts started escalating in force. Spreading his legs as far as they could comfortably go, Kakashi started rocking his hips to the chuunin's increasing rhythm.

The jounin's breath hitched as the slight shift in position gave Iruka the perfect angle to hit Kakashi's prostate with every thrust, sending sparks through the tall man's body and frying every nerve ending as Kakashi silently pleaded for more. His request was almost immediately met as Iruka's hand returned to his aching member, matching his pumps with the rhythm their bodies had set.

Kakashi would have screamed at the combined sensations, but he did not have enough breath in him to do more than gasp as Iruka introduced him to a whole new level of pleasure. Losing a bit of their rhythm when the chuunin's hand squeezed his member, Kakashi felt a new warmth pooling in his lower body, sending electrifying shocks through his body that left every inch of him tingling.

"I-Iruka…I'm close…" Kakashi whispered, unable to hold on any longer under the chuunin's ministrations. The teacher's responded with an increase in his rhythm, pumping Kakashi in perfect time with his powerful thrusts. Kakashi felt helpless, incapable of doing anything other than kneeling before the chuunin as his vision started to darken around the edges.

"Ka-Kakashi…" The jounin could clearly hear that Iruka, too, was reaching his limit. That knowledge gave him the strength to rock against the chuunin, a proud smirk coming to his face when he heard the loud groan escape the teacher's lips. His moment of superiority was quickly lost as Kakashi felt his entire body tightening involuntarily.

Feeling the jounin's body contract around him as he came all over Iruka's hand and the floor beneath them with a stifled cry, the chuunin lost that last shred of control over himself. When he felt the warmth coat his hand as the jounin began trembling, Iruka felt his body finally giving in to an almost animalistic instinct and he thrust into the jounin as he followed him mere moments later.

Kakashi bit back a gasp when he felt Iruka come inside him, filling him with his seed. He was not sure if it was a moment or an eternity, but he stayed motionless, taking pleasure in the feeling of Iruka's arms slipping around to his chest in a loose embrace, the teacher's throbbing member still buried deep inside him.

The jounin could only smile when he felt Iruka's weight press into his back, using him as a crutch as the chuunin took a number of deep breaths that Kakashi knew of because he could feel the rise and fall of the man's chest. Shifting slightly, moving so that he was no longer underneath Iruka, but in front of the chuunin, facing him, Kakashi looked into his eyes and discovered exactly what he had been hoping the last four years to one day find.

"Did I hurt you?" Iruka asked quietly as he sat back on his heels, no longer able to hold himself up on his knees. Closing his eyes, fatigue already coming over him, the chuunin took a moment before opening his eyes again and looking at Kakashi.

"Maa…I'm probably not going on a mission anytime soon…" Kakashi replied, but when he saw the chuunin's widening eyes, he waved his hands anxiously. "It's just been a long time since I've been uke…I'll be sore for a while…it's nothing you could have prevented…"

Kakashi felt a wave of nervousness overcome him, hoping that Iruka didn't take his now aching rear personally. That had been the most amazing experience of his life, sore behind or no, but Kakashi had a feeling it had something to do with the way Iruka made heart beat faster. When he didn't hear the chunin speak immediately, Kakashi glanced up at him and saw the wide grin on the man's face.

"So does that mean it's time for round two?" Iruka asked, his voice containing a tone Kakashi had never heard before in the generally wholesome teacher's speech. _Perverted…_Kakashi was quickly able to put words to the sound, amazed that he had never before awakened the hentai side of the teacher.

"Um…Iruka-sensei…" Both shinobi turned slowly when they heard a very familiar voice directed at the brunet. Iruka felt his face erupt in a magnificent crimson, and was sure Kakashi was doing much the same, as he looked up and caught a glimpse of the blonde on the other side of his desk setting a packet of papers with a shaky hand on the furniture's surface. "The Missions Office is open until four…it's only a quarter after two…" was the only explanation the blue-eyed teen gave before he spun around on his heels and, violently twitching all the way, made his way out of the otherwise empty office.

"Do you think he saw anything?" Kakashi finally said quietly, wondering if he was going to have to deal with twitches or outright leers from his student. Either way, it was not going to be pleasant explaining to Sakura and Sasuke why their loud teammate could not look at Kakashi without a straight face anymore.

"MY VIRGIN EYES!!!"

Hearing Naruto's voice from outside the building, both men turned to look at one another, Kakashi's question answered. "Naruto wouldn't tell anyone, would he?" Iruka asked, his cheeks flaming up as he thought of the answer to his own question. By this time tomorrow, the blonde would probably be forcing Kakashi to the altar with three quarters of the village there as witnesses. Eying the unmasked jounin innocently smiling back at him, he questioned, "You can't just hand in reports like normal people, can you?"

--

Jiraiya let out an evil cackle only perverts were capable of as he set his pen down, finally free of his writer's block. If anything, he was inspired to write a few new Yaoi books for the Icha Icha series. Leaning back in his chair, Jiraiya almost fell out of his seat when he caught a flash of silver out of the corner of his eye.

Turning to face the jounin that was looming over his shoulder, Jiraiya wondered if there was a reason people saw the need to barge into his apartment whenever he was writing. For a brief moment, he forgot that the jounin he now stared at was the same one he had just written a PWP about. All it took was a chuckle out of the shinobi's masked mouth for him to remember and twitch slightly.

"Maa…for your information, Jiraiya-sama, I'm seme and Iruka is uke…but how did you know about us? We were keeping it a secret…" the jounin commented as his visible eye curved upwards. Slightly perturbed by how easily the man was taking being used as a character in a smutty one-shot, Jiraiya studied him for a moment, seeing the blush rising over Kakashi's dark mask.

"Random drawing," Jiraiya replied as he pointed to the two bowls on his table. Realizing he had just told Jiraiya about himself and his boyfriend and gave the perverted novelist intimate details about their sex life in the same breath, Kakashi saw his life flash before his eyes if Iruka was to ever find out. Seeing the jounin's eye widen in fear as he sweatdropped was worth the weeks of being unable to write for Jiraiya. It was even worth all the beatings he had received from Tsunade since his last book.

"Anou…you're not going to just forget I said that, are you?" Kakashi asked as he scratched the back of his head. Jiraiya shook his head, his mind already soaring with possibilities this knowledge opened up for him. He could dedicate a whole series in itself to the mysterious masked shinobi and his forbidden lover – names would have to be changed, of course. "I can give you more…if you give me that…"

Following the jounin's finger, Jiraiya looked at his notebook which was now filled with a story Tsunade would never let see the publishing company. She would strip that tale down to the bare minimum and make it, dare Jiraiya even think it, censored! Raising an eyebrow, he thought over Kakashi's offer. "About you and Iruka?" he asked, referencing the 'more' bit of Kakashi's statement.

"I can do much better…" Kakashi replied, a perverse glint coming to his visible eye as he stretched out grabbing fingers to take the notebook. Before he got a chance to even touch the book, Jiraiya quickly pulled it out of reach, his raised eyebrow telling Kakashi he better give some examples. "Let's just say…I caught Naruto and someone the other night…or the time I ran into another couple…I just happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time…quite often…"

Sliding the notebook towards the jounin, Jiraiya nodded his head. This arrangement might work nicely if he had any more writer's blocks in the future. Watching as the jounin picked up the sloppily written story as though it was his own personal Holy Grail, Jiraiya had to ask. "Why do you want it?"

Kakashi turned to face him fully, chuckling as he quickly stashed the notebook away in his jacket. "You were right about one thing with Iruka…" Making his way towards the window that Jiraiya could see was completely open – which would certainly explain how the tall man got in in the first place – Kakashi glanced back over his shoulder and added, "He'd love to read this…he's more of a pervert than you and me put together!"

--

Authoress: Yosh!! I think that's a wrap for now!! A huuuge thanks to Fifi-Hatake-chan for the inspiration and for the review that made all of this possible!!


End file.
